


Bloodstained fur

by Cherrystar_Legacy



Category: Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: Absolutely no plot, F/M, Profanity, Random - Freeform, crackfic, poor fourth wall, rainbowz, trust me - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-16
Updated: 2016-06-26
Packaged: 2018-06-02 14:55:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6570583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cherrystar_Legacy/pseuds/Cherrystar_Legacy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story of a young kittypet, fighting to prove- Error 404, story not found!</p><p>This is a crackfic without plot. I swear. </p><p>Okay, but don't trust me.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Allegiances

**Oakclan**

**Leader:** Oakstar - Brown tom with blue eyes  
**Deputy:** Briarpelt - Pale gray she-cat with blue eyes  
**Medicine cat:** Gooseheart - Gray tom with blue eyes  
**App: Graypaw**  
**Warriors:**  
Thundersnow - White tom with gray paws, tail-tip, ears and yellow eyes  
Longfur - Gray long-haired tom with black stripes and yellow eyes  
Axolotlfur - Pink she-cat with darker pink eyes  
**App: Beetlepaw**  
Bearnose - Brown tom with amber eyes  
Firestorm - Ginger tom with brown eyes  
**App: Cloudpaw**  
Darkstripe - Black tabby she-cat with yellow eyes  
**App: Blossompaw**  
Greentail - White she-cat with green eyes  
**Apprentices:**  
Cloudpaw - White tom with blue eyes  
Beetlepaw - Black she-cat with green eyes  
Graypaw - Gray tabby tom with light-blue eyes  
Blossompaw - Tortoiseshell she-cat with light green eyes  
**Queens:**  
Silverstripe - Silver tabby she-cat with blue eyes (mother of Firestorm's kits: Twigkit and Shootingkit)  
**Kits:**  
Twigkit - Brown tabby tom with amber eyes  
Shootingkit - Light brown mottled she-cat with blue eyes  
**Elders:**  
Rosebud - White she-cat with red eyes  
Tigerfoot - Ginger tabby tom with green eyes

**Kidclan**

**Leader:** Albinostar - White she-cat with red eyes  
**Deputy:** Pinekit - Golden tom with green eyes  
**Medicine cat:** Nightkit - Black she-cat with light blue eyes  
Owlkit - Brown mottled tom with green eyes  
**App: Hollowkit**  
Sunkit - Golden tom with blue eyes  
Dapplekit - Tortoiseshell she-cat with amber eyes  
**App: Riverkit**  
Sedgekit - Pale gray tom with green eyes  
Berrykit - Brown tabby tom with blue eyes  
Gingerkit - Ginger she-cat with yellow eyes  
**App: Sharpkit**  
Bluekit - Blue she-cat with blue eyes  
**Apprentices:**  
Sharpkit - Black tom with brown eyes  
Riverkit - Pale gray she-cat with blue eyes  
Hollowkit - Brown she-cat with green eyes  
**Queens:**  
Daisykit - Light brown she-cat with yellow eyes (mother of Owlkit's kits: Shrewkit, Dustkit, Fallkit)  
**Kits:**  
Shrewkit - Black tom with white eyes  
Dustkit - Brown tom with yellow eyes  
Fallkit - White she-cat with rainbow eyes  
**Elders:**  
Silentkit - Dark gray tom with green eyes

**Animalclan**

**Leader:** Pigstar - Pink tom with brown eyes  
**App: Squealerpaw**  
**Deputy:** Dogfang - Golden tom with blue eyes  
**Medicine cat:** Snowball - White tom with light blue eyes  
**Warriors:**  
Boxerhoof - Brown tom with blue eyes  
**App: Whitepaw**  
Cloverhoof - Red she-cat with light blue eyes  
Ravenflight - Black tom with brown eyes  
Goatnose - White she-cat with yellow eyes  
Bluebell - White tom with blue eyes  
**Apprentices:**  
Squealerpaw - Pink tom with green eyes  
Whitepaw - White she-cat with light-blue eyes and pink ribbons  
**Queens:**  
Jessiefur - Golden she-cat with green eyes (mother of Bluebell's kits: Onekit, Twokit, Threekit)  
**Kits:**  
Onekit - Gray tom with blue eyes  
Twokit - Gray tom with green eyes  
Threekit - Gray tom with yellow eyes  
**Elders:**  
Majortail - Brown mottled tom with blue eyes and missing ears  
Donkeypelt - Gray tom with brown eyes

**Cats outside the clans**

Cinnamon - Reddish-brown she-cat with amber eyes  
Cherry (01000100 01000001 01001110 01000111 01000101 01010010) - Tortoiseshell and white she-cat with light blue eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be posted shortly!


	2. Chapter 1: Da beginning

Cinnamon opened her beautiful eyes, basking in the afternoon sun. She was laying in her yard, surrounded by poppy flowers. She yawned, rising to her paws and glancing around. She decided to take a walk through the woods and is now in an open spot in the forest because logic. 

She heard a rustling sound from a few bushes and used her amazing sneaking skillz to creep towards them, unseen. She pushed them apart and found a patrol of cats. A pink she-cat with darker pink eyes stepped towards her.

"Greetings, my name is Axolotlfur, what's a kittypet like you doing here?" She asked Cinnamon. 

Cinnamon shrugged even though cats can't do that in real life. "I just wanted to spend some time in the forest. Nothing special."

"Let's chase her out!" A black she-cat with green eyes excitedly yowled. 

"Now, now, Beetlepaw, you can't go picking fights with every cat you meet." Axolotlfur gently scolded her apprentice. Don't ask how Cinnamon knows all about clanlife, we're not here to be serious. 

"Hey kittypet, what's your name?" A brown tom with amber eyes asked. "Mine is Bearnose."

"I am Cinnamon. I'm awesome 'cause I'm the main character!" Bearnose nodded and invited her to come and see Oakclan, because why not?

We are now in the middle of Oakclan's camp because the author is abusing crackfic logic. Spoilers! There is no logic. Aaaanyway, on to more conversation and no plot, yay!

Somewhere on the way to camp, the medicine cat apprentice, Graypaw, had joined the group and was now leading Cinnamon to the medicine den. Inside was Gooseheart, who is totally NOT like Goosefeather from the books. 

"Graypaw! Why have you brought a shell here!?" The old cat snarled.

"Umm, Gooseheart? This is a kittypet, not a shell. I think you need to get your eyes checked. Graypaw mewed or said, I don't know.

"My eyes work fine! And I'm not the crazy cat you all think I am!" 

"Of course not. Hey, why don't you go check on Rosebud? I think she likes you." Graypaw soothed, winking at his last statement.

Alright, the author would like to say something: She's always found the rule that medicine cats can't have a mate or kits stupid, so for the sake of her sanity we're going to throw it out the window. Back to the story!

Gooseheart grumbled as he rose to his paws. He left the den mumbling about shells and roses.

"Sorry about that." Graypaw mewed. "He's usually not like this, I think his back is acting up again."

"Wow, this place is rad, son." Cinnamon blinked a few times before slapping herself. "Okay, let's pretend I never said that, deal?"

"Deal." They shook paws because apparantly that's possible. At that moment, a gust of wind blew a pair of cherry's into the cave as a tortoiseshell she-cat ran inside. She took a couple seconds to regain her breath, panting like she'd been running for miles. 

"Blossompaw? What's wrong?" Graypaw asked, concerned.

"Cloudpaw fell out of a tree. While Briarpelt AND Oakstar where assesing our climbing skills." Graypaw didn't hestitate in following Blossompaw to where Cloudpaw was laying on the ground, followed closely by Cinnamon. 

"Hey Graypaw, guess who fell out of a tree again!?" The white apprentice gave a weak smile. "You would't believe what happened this time! I found this invisible wall, and I accidentily broke it. And then I saw a bunch of twolegs, looking at me!" 

"Seriously Cloudpaw? This is like the fouth invisible wall you've broken." Graypaw sighed and began checking his friend for wounds.

"Isn't Graypaw amazing?" Blossompaw whispered. "And before you start shipping us, he's my brother. Don't get any idea's." Her tone turned brisk.

"Kay, now tell me about Oakstar." Cinnamon asked, half relieved that Graypaw was just Blossompaw's brother, and nothing more. Yep, there's romance in this thing. But the author is bad at writing fluff, so there won't be much. 

"You wanna know about our leader?" When Cinnamon nodded, Blossompaw continued speaking. "Well, he's either really brave or reckless. He's not the smartest cat, but he'll protect his clan with everything he has." 

"And Briarpelt?"

"She's just really cool." Just then, Graypaw finished treating Cloudpaw, warning him not to fall off of tree's anymore. Five minutes later, he fell again.

Yep, that's clanlife.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 4-22-15-24-12-14-22 7-12 12-26-16-24-15-26-13


	3. Chapter 2: Cloudpaw is a big doofus

It was night, and Cloudpaw was sleeping in his den. Two dove's sat in a tree. One chirped to the other: "Tell me a story." And the other told a story.

It was night, and Cloudpaw was sleeping in his den. Two dove's sat in a tree. One chirped to the other: "Tell me a story." And the other told a story.

It was night, and Cloudpaw was sleeping in his den. Two dove's sat in a tree. One chirped to the other: "Tell me a story." And the other told a story.

And then Cloudpaw woke up, breaking the loop. Cloudpaw! What are you doing? You can't break the story, that's wrong!

But Cloudpaw didn't hear the author. He simply left camp and went into the forest. It was very quiet, except for the occasional cricket. Cloudpaw kept walking until he reached a small river. He put his paw in the current and magically caught a goldfish. By gold I mean silver.

Suddenly, Cloudpaw heard a menacing growl right behind him. He turned around and stood face to face with a grizzly bear!

"Hi, my name is Cloudpaw, what's yours?" In response, the bear roared in his face, unsheating it's claws. "That's my cue to leave." Cloudpaw turned and sprinted away.

**Benny Hill theme go!**

The bear chased the young apprentice through the forest, swerving to avoid trees. Cloudpaw stopped for a minute to buy lemonade from a nearby stand. Then went back to screaming and running. 

He met Beetlepaw along the way. Together, they took off, splashing mud in the bear's face. The creature growled loudly, picking up speed.

"Hey guys! Whatcha doing?" Blossompaw asked, holding a lolly as she watched the trio run around a pine tree. 

"Getting chased by a bear!" Beetlepaw yowled, using her tail to wave around a blue flag she had picked up somewhere. 

Blossompaw jumped as both apprentices came running towards her, with the bear on their paws. No, not literally. Now there were three apprentices running from a bloodthirsty bear. "Shut up, and help them!" Axolotlfur shouted to wherever she thought the author was, who only laughed in response. She was having way to much fun with this.

Axolotlfur jumped down from the rock - that was not previously mentioned - she was standing on and ran after the bear. Shouting words that will not be repeated. 

Oakstar and Briarpelt watched in confusion, forgetting that they could be helping, instead of doing nothing.

"Blossompaw!" Graypaw yowled, running to his sister's aid. He was followed by Cinnamon who used her amazing main-character ability's to attack the bear. Both she and Axolotlfur were holding on to the creature's fur as it tore through the undergrowth.

"Hey Graypaw, fancy seeing you here." Blossompaw mewed, still holding the lolly. "You know, I'd be nice if we weren't being chased by a bear." She smiled.

At some point, they had left the forest and were in some random twolegplace. They ran past a kittypet, sitting on a fence, before going back into the forest and accidentally falling of a cliff. 

**End Benny Hill theme... awwww**

They landed in a pool of water, having lost the bear. The pool was located in a cave, which had walls, dripping with water. The pool itself felt much warmer than water was supposed too. 

Suddenly, Cinnamon gasped. "We've found a hot spring!" Yowls of joy erupted from the group. It wasn't long before everyone was splashing around in the water. Somehow, the rest of the clan had joined them, along with a random beaver. 

"Bring out the catnip!" Longfur shouted, showering everyone with the stuff. Silverstripe is probably a bad mother because she allows her kits to get high on catnip but whatever. For some reason the bear came back and was now dancing with a disco ball.

Then everyone fell asleep because I don't know how to end this chapter normally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 24-15-12-6-23-11-26-4 18-8 25-22-8-7 24-19-26-9-26-24-7-22-9


	4. Chapter 3: Pizza

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a reference to a musical in here, try to find it!

And now, everyone is going to the gathering (yes, even the kits) because they can, and it's also night of the full moon, that too. And then everyone died because of flying whales! No wait, that's a lie. All cats magically appeared on some sort of island, because nobody cares how they got there in the first place. 

"Hey Graypaw, why does that group of cats have a rocket with them?" Cinnamon asked, obviously pointing to Animalclan, because they are obviously evil. And evil cats obviously have to have rocket's. Notice how many times the author said 'obviously'? But I'm guessing that's obvious.

"Probably planning to blow something up." Graypaw answered, while shrugging. "Don't worry though, everone who dies somehow comes back to life. Except Leafleaf, she died like, three days before we met you."

"Nobody liked her, anyway. So it's all cool." Beetlepaw mewed indifferently. She had suddenly appeared beside them. By them, I mean Graypaw, Cinnamon and Blossompaw, 'cause she's also here, I guess. Anyway, Cinnamon is now sitting in the middle of the island, surrounded by a bunch of cats.

"What's a kittypet like you doing here!?" Goatnose, from Animalclan, growled.

"Eh, who cares where she's from?" Owlkit, from Kidclan, mewed. His apprentice, Hollowkit, mewed in agreement.

"Hey, you two messing with the main character?" Thundersnow asked, appearing out of nowhere. 

"Why does she get to be the main character anyways? It's not fair!" Whitepaw whined, running to Pigstar, her leader, ready to complain. 

"Oakstar! Why in Starclan's name did you bring a kittypet to the gathering?" Pigstar growled, unsheating his claws. Oakstar didn't reply, balancing on a branch to show of his amazing skills. 

"look at me, I'm the master of tree climbing!" He yowled, and then he fell. Pigstar face-pawed and accidentally knocked himself over in doing so. 

"Okay, um, let's just start the gathering, k?" Albinostar mewed, jumping up on the rock that was not previously mentioned. "Alright, since nothing special ever happens in our lives, let's skip the boring part and go straight to the pizza party!" 

"Wait! I, Oakstar the amazing, have something to say!" His outburst caused a tirade of hushed voices and one not-so hushed voice because Boxerhoof's capslock is stuck. "Silence! I present to you, the main character Cinnamon!" 

Everyone except a suspisious ginger cat that no one noticed welcomed her with 'oooh's' and 'aaah's'. "Um, can I ask why I'm so special anyway, like, it's totally cool and all, but I'm just a kittypet."

"'Just a kittypet'? You're Cinna freakin' mon! You were small, but I don't think that you can recall!" Graypaw suddenly started singing. "Long story short, this guy (whispers) Foxclaw, was really cruel. He tried to kill you when you were born, and this is were it gets immensely cool. Even though you were a tiny little kit, you should have died but you survived and then defeated, this evil dude and it's a story I enjoy to sing!"

"You're Cinna freakin' mon!" Everycat chimed in. "We don't prefer Firestar, Gray wing or Moss! You're a whole lot better! You're a superstar to us all, when we're in trouble, we know who to call!" 

"Did somebody say 'Cinnamon'? Shootingkit here, reporting to you live from the gathering. Now let's you and me get on the lever CM, are ya frightened for your life?"

"Why would I be frightened for my life?" 

"Your old enemy, Foxclaw, was just sighted in Kidclan territory. He killed thirteen ducks before they exiled him, and by ducks I mean cats. He hates your guts. Wants ya dead."

"Hey, can we stop singing and just go eat pizza?" Albinostar interrupted. A few seconds later, they all shrugged and went with that idea. 

"Infinite pizza, bitches!" Longfur shouted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2-12-6'-9-22 24-18-13-13-26 21-9-22-26-16-18-13-20 14-12-13!


	5. Chapter 4: The mysterious cat

"Wake up you lazytails!" Blossompaw yowled, bursting through the roof of the apprentice den while sounding an air horn. Or maybe two. 

"Yeah, let's go!" Beetlepaw jumped onto her feet and rushed outside. 

"Ugh, Blossompaw, it's three in the morning." Cinnamon complained, pointing to a clock that hung from a branch. "How did that even get there?" She wondered out loud.

"Come on, Cinnamon! Cloudpaw's coming too! Right, Cloudpaw?" She asked the ball of white fur. 

"No! Not the bee's! Not the bee's!" He cried and then started nomming on his tail. 

"Should we, uh, wake him up?" Blossompaw suggested. 

Cinnamon thought for a bit. "Nah, just let him sleep." She rose to her paws. "Just kidding, who would waste a chance to throw a bucket of water on their sleeping denmate?"

Blossompaw's eyes gained a mischievous glint. "I'll get Graypaw!" She ran out of the den and towards her brother's. Cinnamon followed, taking a hyperactive Beetlepaw with her. 

It wasn't long before they returned with a water bucket and a half-asleep Graypaw.

"Guys, it's still dark out. Why in Starclan's name are you all awake?" He asked, grumbling. "And, for what POSSIBLE reason, do you think it's a good idea to pour water over somecat else?" No one paid attention to him.

"ONWARDS SHIKA!" Blossompaw suddenly shouted, riding on a female deer and stopping right infront of her brother. She had somehow already showered Cloudpaw with water, and he was sitting behind her on the deer. Which is actually a doe, but the details ain't important. "Come on guys, let's have some fun!" Blossompaw extended her paw and allowed her friends to hop onto her deer. How they all fit is a mystery.

The group of super happy amazing fun times (Cloudpaw chose the name) went off to their next adventure. 

"THE PAST, IS IN THE FUTURE, GO ON SHIKA!" Blossompaw shouted at the top of her lungs, and then spent a minute trying to catch her breath. 

"Hey, watch that ginger cat doing over there?" Beetlepaw mewed and pointed at said cat as he stood right next to the border.

"Yo, dude, who are you!?" Cloudpaw yelled, gaining the strange cat's attention. Blossompaw let her deer/doe come to a halt, and they all jumped onto the ground. "Wait. Aren't you Foxclaw?" 

Graypaw lightly hit him on the head. "What are you thinking, Cloudpaw? Foxclaw has BROWN eyes, this cat has YELLOW eyes." 

"Indeed, I have NO idea who this supposed 'Foxclaw' is. My name is Nine. Pleased to meet you." He made a quick bow, how he did that still boggles the author's mind. 

"So, since you're NOT Foxclaw, you should have no problem with our friend Cinnamon here." Beetlepaw pulled the latter into a hug, smiling widely.

"Of course not! I'm just a simple, gentlemanly cat. You can most certainly trust me!" He grinned. "Oh, but I'm sure such smart cats like yourself will do splendid on a little quiz." He was met with many postitive responses. 

"Excellent! On to the first question~ Now, what is the most important rule in the warrior code?"

"Ooh, I know this one!" Graypaw mewed while bouncing. "The most important rule is that warriors will never kill anycat. We fight only for honor and justice."

"Perfect! Next question! Can anyone tell me what _foreshadowing_ is?"

"Oh, pick me, pick me! Me, me, me, me, me!" Cloudpaw mewed, and began bouncing, just like Graypaw. "Foreshadowing is an event in which a writer or an animater puts a seemingly unimportant object or conversation that will be relevant later on in their story."

"Ding, ding, ding! Correct!"

"Hey, why all these questions, anyway?" Beetlepaw asked, her eyes narrowing.

Nine waved her suspicions away. "Oh, just information that everyone should know. Especially YOU." 

"Um, who are you pointing at?" Cinnamon asked.

"Oh, nothing, trust me~" He quickly put on a little black tophat. "Well, I must be off!" He danced away, leaving the group in a confused state. 

Then, a funny episode ending tune played and everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 12-13-4-26-9-23-8 26-12-8-19-18-14-26!


	6. Chapter 5: The twisted house part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, remember when I said 'no plot'? I lied. (Insert creepy laugh here)

Cinnamon and the rest of the apprentices casually strolled into camp. Apparently, nobody cared that they'd been away for so long. They were greeted by Axolotlfur, who was carrying a big bowl of candy.

"Hey guys, I got a mission for you from Oakstar. Cloudpaw, stop bouncing so I can explain without you distracting me." Said apprentice seized his jumping and sat down. "Now, Oakstar wants you to get some catmint from twolegplace. We need it for a par- I mean, Gooseheart needs it for his medicine stock." 

And so, the group walked out of camp after having been there for only three minutes.

\----------------------------------

Twolegplace was a dangerous place. Full of twolegs and cars, I mean monsters! Rogues were all over the place, but they ran away as soon as they saw Cinnamon, the best cat ever, approaching. Of course nocat can beat her, because main characters don't need flaws. 

"Hey, Graypaw, where do we find catmint?" Cinnamon asked. 

"We steal it from a random garden." Blossompaw answered for her brother.

Soon enough, they found a garden full of the stuff and started plucking it.

"Hello." A new voice startled Cloudpaw and he fell in a convenietly placed puddle of mud. "Oops, sorry, didn't mean to startle your friend." The voice belonged to a beautiful tortoiseshell she-cat with light blue eyes. 

"I can't stay long, but I wanted to warn you to NOT go inside that house over there." She pointed to an old house with dark clouds hanging above. Lightning flashed for dramatic effect. 

Of course, right after she left, the four apprentices plus one amazing cat practically raced inside.

The house looked even older on the inside. The red carpet that lay in the hallway was hardly a carpet anymore. Weird paintings hung on the striped walls. One had a clown's face, and Cloudpaw let out a scream once he saw it.

"Sorry, clowns are my worst nightmare." The others sighed and continued on. 

The door to the livingroom collapsed when Blossompaw touched it, in an attempt to open it. Making it fall over wasn't the plan, but it works so whatever. 

The room looked normal enough, except for the lit, white candles on the table. But nobody really cared as they were too busy inspecting the rest of the room. 

"Hey guys, look at this." Graypaw pulled a red, giant old book from it's shelf and blew the dust away. "It's some weird, journally book. I mean, look at all these crazy drawings." 

Beetlepaw hopped over to him and grabbed the book. "Dude, this looks like some guy tried to fuse a shark with a kangaroo, and it also seems to have a snake for a tail." She flipped through the pages, pointing out all the weird fused animals. 

"Hey guys! Look at me!" Cloudpaw interrupted the two by swinging on a crystal chandelier and launching himself into the bookcase. As a result, it fell over and revealed a creepy hallway with multiple doors. 

"Anyone else feel like this is a bad idea?" Blossompaw asked. They all looked at eachother before shrugging and storming in. Behind them, a secret door closed, leaving them in the dark.

"Well, this is fun." Cinnamon mewed sarcastically. "Anyone got an idea on how to get out of here?"

"Um, no." Graypaw sighed. "But I have a lantern! Atleast, we won't be in the dark!" He pulled it out of Cloudpaw's fur and turned it on. A small light illuminated the area around the group. 

They decided, by that I mean BEETLEPAW decided, to try the first door to the left. It opened with a creak, and Cloudpaw was the first to walk inside. 

The room was small. A dim light came from the green crystals, embedded into the walls. A single chest was located in the middle of the room. It was unlocked and Cloudpaw used his tail to open the twoleg object. His smile faltered when he saw the contents.

"Cloudpaw?" Graypaw started as he came to stand beside his fellow apprentice. "Buddy?" A single tear slid down Cloudpaw's cheek. He closed his eyes and bolted out of the room.

"Cloudpaw!" Beetlepaw shouted after him. "Wait!"

The four remaining cats gathered around the chest, wondering what had made their friend so upset.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 5-22-13-18 5-18-23-18 5-18-24-18 
> 
> ???: So you've made it this far, huh? I gotta say, that's impressive! Well, good luck with the next chapter. Shit's really gonna go down in that one! Bye~


End file.
